Things I can’t wait to do

As per the title, I’ve been thinking (longingly) of all of the things I’m hoping to be able to do when my little bundle of joy arrives sometime in the next month (eeek!).

Of course it goes without saying that meeting her, this little creature that has taken up residence inside me for the last 9 months, who keeps me awake at night when she doesn’t wriggle, but causes more and more grimaces and urgent trips to the loo when she does wriggle (she’s a little chunk at 7lb already), is the number one thing on my list and the ultimate goal… but here’s a light-hearted look at all of the other things I’m dying to be able to do again.

Go back to the gym. I’ve put this at the top because it will be necessary to do this one in order to do a couple of the others… I’m of the opinion that exercise is not worthwhile unless I end up red-faced and sweaty. The advice for exercising during pregnancy is that you should be able to maintain a normal conversation during a workout at all times. That’s so not how I roll – go hard or go home. Which leads to…

Lose at least two of the three chins I seem to have sprouted since being pregnant. This is pretty self-explanatory. I got chubby and I won’t be in any photos until I am at least one chin down.

Take advantage of my full wardrobe. After my last blog, I couldn’t not write about this. Wearing non-maternity jeans again… wearing t-shirts and jumpers that actually meet the tops of my trousers. Fitting my non-swollen feet back into my shoe collection and not having to wear flip-slops in October because they are all that is comfy and I can put on without help from my husband…

Drink alcohol. I did ‘dry January’ before I became pregnant, so the last time I drank anything with any alcohol in it (apart from that mistaken sip of strawberry daiquiri while on holiday this summer – what? I thought it was a smoothie) was LAST YEAR. As in, 2016. A small part of me thinks you know what, I should just continue and then I can say 2017 was the tee-total year. But then the rest says, it’s alcohol season. I’ve missed Pimms season, so now I don’t want to miss Baileys season. Mulled wine season. Bucks fizz for breakfast on Christmas day. Champagne with lunch. A coffee with a bit of Tia Maria on New Years Day. Of course my drinking will be massively in moderation as I’m hoping to breastfeed, so I’ll let you know how that works out. It might be that I will get my wish and have to remain completely sober for the remainder of the year, or at least until my little treasure has got into any kind of feeding routine…

Eat all the food. Not like I’ve been on a diet or anything during pregnancy (see above – those chins didn’t appear from nowhere), but there are a whole lot of restrictions. I’ve been pretty cautious, so I’ve missed out on some of my favourite things. Baked camembert with crusty bread (no soft cheeses)… poached eggs and avocado on toast (no runny eggs)… a latte with enough caffeine to wake the dead… a McDonalds Mcflurry (no soft-serve ice cream)… so I’ll be tucking into all of these things once baby arrives. In fact I feel like someone (dad) might have to bring me a McFlurry as a post-labour treat.

Roll over in bed/ get out of bed/ get up off the sofa/ climb out of a car without grunting like a warthog. You don’t get told about these things before you become pregnant, but to change position in bed (and you have two options, left side or right side), I literally have to push myself up on my elbow to a seated position, shuffle over on my bum and lower myself back down using my elbows. And in the same vein…

Put on clothing and shoes without help. I can’t see my feet any more, and I certainly can’t reach them. Putting on trousers pants, socks and shoes is no longer an easy task, even for someone who, a year ago, would have had no trouble getting into the lotus position, or the bird, or the mermaid, or… you get the idea. I was good at yoga and pretty flexible.

I feel like this has gone on for long enough, but I’ll just leave this disclaimer right here: Being pregnant has it’s positives (hey, maybe I’ll write about that tomorrow) and I know that there are so many people who would love to be in my situation but can’t be. I know how lucky I am. This is just meant to be a tongue-in-cheek list to make people smile, whether you’re pregnant, trying to get pregnant or just want to kill a few minutes reading a blog. So enjoy, and I’m off to dream about camembert and a nice Merlot…

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